The No-F-Words Warrington

Stella Artois is sponsoring the London Bloggers’ Summer Social next week, so we can look forward to a glass or two of cool lager…

They’ve also challenged us to describe our local watering hole in 150 words or less, stating the reasons that keep us going back, sooooo I wrote a poem. No one said the competition entry couldn’t be in poetry… then again, none of the other entrants has waxed lyrical about a pub throughout their entire entry. So far, that is. The closing date is Friday 25th July, so perhaps there’ll be more poems by then.

Below you will see my entry, referring to Gordon Ramsay’s Warrington Pub, which is located altogether too close to our home. I love it there. It has an amazing polychromic front porch decorated with stunning art nouveau tiles, and a beautiful old double-sided bar in carved mahogany. Thank heavens it didn’t go All Bar One on us. We should treasure our old beauties like the Warrington. There’s altogether too much sanding of pub floorboards going on.

Before you find out what the competition prize is, I must now subject you to my first ever attempt at poetic pub reviewing:  

The No-F-Words Warrington


The Warrington Pub down on Warrington Crescent’s

The local I frequent for R ‘n’ R.

The specialness lies in its Olde Worlde presence –

So different from cloned and identikit bars.


Last year it closed for some renovation,

As stellar chef, Ramsay, acquired the deeds.

For patrons whose interest is mastication,

The Warrington’s back feeding everyone’s needs.


It hasn’t gone posh with pretentious infection;

Builders swig next to the girls wearing Choos.

The staff will advise on your beverage selection

Whilst fielding your questions on Big Gordon’s news.


From dressed Cornish crab to a Casterbridge Ribeye

The Warrington should seldom disappoint.

The fishcakes are gourmet, they surely ain’t Birdseye

And old-fashioned bar snacks help add to this joint.


The only thing marring my Warrington visits –

A lack of expletives directed at chefs.

The atmosphere calm, there are no flying trivets

Or verbal abuse freely peppered with effs.


On, Andy Bargery writes: “the prize is a trip in the Stella Artois Star over London Airship.”

THAT’s precisely why I decided to enter this competition. I’ve always wanted to travel by airship. There’s something so Indiana Jones about it.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Gary Fish says:

    Haha, brilliant poem. You definitly have my vote 😀

    The Warrington Pub looks wonderful, especially the bar.


  2. epicurienne says:

    Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun writing it. All the locals in Maida Vale have been enjoying having their beautiful pub back. It was much missed while it was closed.
    Just last week I met a couple of tourists in the street looking for the Warwick Castle. When I told them there wasn’t a pub by that name in the area, they said “you know, the Ramsay place!” so I was then able to show them the way as they muttered about their silly friend giving them the wrong name. What’s really great is having the benefit of a Ramsay establishment in a traditional setting that has been sensitively and lovingly restored, not morphed into a character-lacking chain pub selling curly fries and microwave meals as others may have done.


  3. razzbuffnik says:

    Nice poem. Good luck. A flight in an airship would really be something else.

    Here’s some haiku for you.

    The Warrington Pub.
    Warm nights with beautiful tiles.
    F#@k me, good food too!


  4. epicurienne says:

    Thanks Razz. Hopefully the people at Gordon Ramsay (see Gary Fish comment above) will appreciate your haiku. Perhaps they should start an F-Word poetry corner on their website. Then again, the heat might be getting to me. 27.6 at my desk and rising. The UK and air-con systems don’t seem to get on too well…


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