The No-F-Words Warrington

Stella Artois is sponsoring the London Bloggers’ Summer Social next week, so we can look forward to a glass or two of cool lager… They’ve also challenged us to describe our local watering hole in 150 words or less, stating the reasons that keep us going back, sooooo I wrote a poem. No one said…

Do not stand at my grave and weep

This is for the people I know who’ve lost close ones in recent weeks, and for all those who know what it feels like to lose someone. WARNING: do not read without kleenex to hand. Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a…

Epic Euphemisms 2: On the phone…

There are all sorts of excuses to be used for not answering the phone. One of the best I’ve heard of late is “So sorry… I was on the phone to my medium.” The guy (yes guy) saying that was being serious, but I might be inclined to use it myself as an Epic Euphemism.

Epic euphemisms 1

¬† Recently, I started a list of funny euphemisms that pass my way. It’s amusing to see how far humankind will go to make something icky or uncomfortable sound not so bad. Dear friend, The Wise Woman of Wandsworth, is always ‘washing her cat’ when she wants to turn down an invitation. (Odd that she…

Post-meeting buzzword download

Today I lied so I could leave a meeting. It was a presentation by a company competing for our business¬†against a number of their major competitors and the competitors win hands down. This particular presenter was affable and would be good company if you wanted to go and have a pint or two in the…

Alternative swear words

I don’t really like to swear but sometimes I find myself possessed by a demon with Tourette’s causing a few choice words to exit my mouth. Usually the result of surging female hormonal activity or stress in the workplace, such moments even take ME by surprise. I knew it had to stop and the problem…

Buzzword bonkers

It astounds me how many people use buzzwords these days. I can understand (to a point) the necessity of industry-specific jargon, but what on earth does it mean when someone says “I’ll cold towel those documents and get them to you later,” or “he’s just had a brain dump,” A ‘brain dump’? You have to…

Words we love to hate…

There are certain words that have the ability to make us cringe in the same way that sounds make us recoil when listening to a dentist’s drill or nails being dragged across a blackboard. At work, a group of us compare notes on Vile Vocabulary from time to time. So far, one person absolutely detests…